It’s hard to even know where to start. This past year was a real mixed shit-bag. The collective sadness. The not knowing. The fighting and anger. We all know. We lived it together in varying degrees and I know I have much to be grateful for.
I also learned a shit ton this year. I learned to listen to my gut - it knows more than I. I learned that I’ve been neglecting my body and that I want to take most of 2021 to feel better in this vessel. I learned that taking a walk can help reset depressed days. I learned that journaling improves my memory and helps me sort out my feelings or ideas. I learned that two people working from home isn’t exactly easy. I learned that my depression is still here but that doesn’t mean I can’t have happy days.
Winter
Spring
I searched for the rainbows in April
I learned to give myself more permission to create or do things that may not seem like “me.” I learned that you can’t please everyone and it’s ok. I learned to put myself out there, you never know what might come of it. I learned that jealousy can be revelatory and a propeller for change but also comparison is the death of joy. I learned to get off my phone and do shit. I learned more about this country, the people, our place in the world, and how to better discuss and navigate hard grey area topics. I learned what things were missing in my life and I’m still learning how to make those things a priority.
Summer
But apart from learning, I grieved things that could have been, trips missed out on, restaurants, movie theaters, museums and live shows I miss going to and long nights with friends. I’m grateful for the things I continue to bring into 2021 - my health, partner, family, friends, and employment.
The best part of 2020 has been creating. I have had the privilege to photograph many beautiful families, weddings, and bat mitzvahs. I created my first large scale mounted photos and I love how they look. I created several paintings, crocheted a blanket, and had many awesome zoom art nights. I created many custom designs using the laser engraver, figured out my Cricut machine (thank you Elena!) and was surprised out how both are similar file creation. I started listing on Etsy and my one design really took off! I am so grateful for everyone of my customers and friends who have bought art from me. They have driven much of my expansion. I'’m proud of how it’s building up and excited for more in 2021.
I spent a lot of time outside in nature with my partner and puppy. We basically kayaked our way through 2020. We found new places to explore, Betsy almost fought a bear, and camped while it snowed.
I checked several things off my resolution list from last year and considering the year we had - I’m proud! I was able to check another National Park off my list and visit a state I’ve never been to (several actually). I showed three pieces in a local office building. I made new friends and met fellow photographers. I gave myself permission to play and create. I did not read a book a month but completed 6 and half-read three so almost?
Autumn
2020 was a year that felt simultaneously stagnant and spirited so cheers to more living and growing. 2021 is probably going to be another weird year.